Well, no one said questing is easy. (I’m assuming.)

I started the writing course that I mentioned last time, but it didn’t resonate with me the way I hoped. In an interesting twist, it really made me reconsider this whole concept I have of myself as a writer-to-be. I’ve avoided writing here the last month as I mulled over that.

It felt like this whole blog would be kind of pointless if I abandoned the “writer” pursuit, but I’m back here now because I realize the blog’s title and tagline couldn’t be more relevant to this. “To nap or to quest?” remains the question of the day, and the craving to find a story that feels true to me feels more real than ever.

Over 800 other people are also doing this writing course I signed up for, and once we were all in one place communicating, I couldn’t get over how much navel-gazing was going on. I guess it’s part of writing – you do have to do a fair amount of looking at yourself to write in a way that connects  – but there’s a point where it all becomes more crippling than anything. And I don’t know that I want to encourage that part of myself, not right now. God knows I navel gaze enough.

Once it hits you that everyone has had it rough, and everyone is living a strangely similar twist on your own sob story, you realize there’s no reason why you use your own as such a crutch, as if you’re the only one who should be excused to lean on it.

So we’re in a process of letting the “writer” dream percolate. Or – perhaps more accurately – the “why” and the “when” behind it. Maybe this is just another excuse, but at least it feels like it has more substance than many of my others.

I’m coming to realize the progress doesn’t always look like forward movement. Sometimes it’s simply finding peace with where you are.

 

 

 

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